Why We Freeze Under Pressure (And a 10-Second Way to Get Moving Again)

As I’ve gotten older, I’ve noticed something I don’t like. I’ve started saying no more often.

Not the healthy no, the boundary-setting, self-protective ones. I'm talking about the shrinking no that comes from overwhelm. The kind that quietly says, It’s too much. You can’t handle it. Sit this one out.

And the more I listened to that voice, the more I realized I was pulling back from the life I actually want: to have more fun.

So when my kids asked me to join them on a high ropes course during a family outing—something that pretty much terrifies me, I almost didn’t even consider it. My default answer was ready:

Nope. Not today. I’ll take pictures of you!

But this time, I paused.

Because I’d been building and testing a simple tool of my own for moments like this. I call it the Go Tool. It isn’t deep or complicated. It’s just a way to move forward when your brain is screaming no.

When we become overwhelmed, our brains often shift into protection mode. Instead of helping us think clearly, our attention narrows and our bodies may freeze, hesitate, or urge us to avoid the situation altogether. It's not a sign that you're weak. It's a common response when your system feels overloaded.

Here’s the Go Tool

When overwhelm hits, don’t ask, Can I do the whole thing? Ask: Can I just do the next 10 seconds?

I know this sounds almost too simple. Just counting? But when overwhelm hits, the thinking part of your brain gets overloaded. What helps most is something concrete and predictable to focus on. Counting gives your system an anchor long enough to take one small step forward. There’s real science behind that, but you don’t need to know the science to use the tool.

And in that moment, it was exactly what I needed.

That's the whole tool. On that course, that question was the only thing I needed.

So instead of thinking about the entire course, I broke it into 10-second chunks. When my body and mind started to panic, I didn’t argue with either of them. (I'm going to fall; I can't do this.) I returned to the count.

10…9…8…

It’s kind of trippy, but once I locked into the count, my body just did its thing. I stopped overthinking every step. At times, it felt like my body was gliding from one step to the next.

I focused fully on the numbers and the next step in front of me. And somehow, one micro-yes at a time, I was doing it. With my kids. Laughing. Moving. Fully present. Even having fun.

A Moment of Connection

But the moment that really stayed with me came later.

I reached a platform where a teenage girl stood frozen in panic. Her friends were trying to encourage her to step forward onto the rope, but she couldn’t. She was so overwhelmed and shut down, and there wasn’t an easy way back down.

I gently asked if she wanted help. She nodded.

“Okay,” I said. “All we’re going to do is count from 10 to 1. That’s it. Just focus on the numbers. Nothing else.”

I started counting calmly and slowly. She took one step, then another. She made it across.

I didn’t see her again until later when she came up to me at the bottom, smiled, and said: “Thank you.”

As I walked away that day, I realized something. The Go Tool wasn't just helping me. It was something I wanted to share with anyone who feels stuck, frozen, or overwhelmed by life's demands.

Your Next Move

Overwhelm doesn’t just make us anxious. It makes us unavailable to our kids, our partners, and our own life.

Sometimes the way forward isn't by trying harder.

Sometimes it's simply asking:

Can I just do the next 10 seconds?

That's the Go Tool.

It's one of the practical tools inside the Create the Win System, where I teach science-informed strategies to help people move through overwhelm, reconnect with the present moment, and make their next move with greater intention.

Want to learn more?

Visit www.createthewin.com to explore the Create the Win System™ and discover more practical tools for navigating worry, overwhelm, and overthinking.